ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
