ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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