K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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