Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
