lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
