I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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