Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i came on her dog
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
