Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize