Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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