covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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