Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
