Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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