for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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