who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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