When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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