The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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