your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
