apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
