There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
