to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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