Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
