I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she looked like the before picture.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
