I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
