Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
