do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
