Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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