Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
