I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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