At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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