Is it because I queefed?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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