If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
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birth control should be required to get into college
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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