But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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