Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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