so explain again why im purple
no
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
