dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
