so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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