I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
