We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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