I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
