fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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