If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
