i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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