i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
