I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
