All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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