That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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