summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
