Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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