There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm at about main and main street
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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