I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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