Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
