I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My bed smells like the plague
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
