You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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