in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
What drink are we having for lunch?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
