You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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