I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
