wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
