I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
